Joseph is my favorite Bible character probably because he was so unpretentiously obedient without a thought to his own welfare. I think he loved Mary deeply and was relieved when he was told to take her as his wife. I don't believe he was ever mad, but was trying to follow the law of his faith by putting her away. But the jewel in his crown was that he was willing to give his situation thought - he thought and then his pondering and meditation gave way to his heart being opened to dreams from the Lord. What we ponder on definitely opens us up to what we dream and become.
I believe Joseph wanted to see Mary though this pregnancy and was trying to get direction on how to do that and stay within the teachings of his faith. I doubt his reputation was ever his concern.
I have to believe Mary had told him her story of the visitation from the angel, but he still had a mind to putting her away. She would have definitely been in a more horrible situation, but he too would have been in a questionable spot. I honestly believe, though, once he got his marching orders, he was relieved to go forth and live this out with her in complete joy.
It could be that Jewish girls dreamed to be the mother of the Messiah, but that would only be because they had not really thought it out. I doubt Jewish boys gave a thought to being the Messiah's earthly father. I think there are parts of a prophecy that is not truly thought out. Probably everyone thought the Messiah's mother would be so obviously chosen that there would be no stigma. True obedience always comes with a price.